Portmantoholism

Blogus passus, et sepultus est, et resurrexit tertia die, secundum scripturas...

Annnnd Reblogification. Inspired by a few three things concurrently. Please, please try to keep up.

Table of Soul Soup Slurping Blogtents

1 ...................... The experiencings of near-death experience.

2 ...................... The New York Times finally agreeing to publish a photograph of my underwears.

3 ...................... The discovery of my life's calling. 

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1:

One dark and spooky night betwixt Xmas and the NYE,  I was gallantly peddling my bicicletta homeward from my place of employ. Upon passing the pesky peejays Farragut, I seen some fellers wrestling on the ground next to a car--about 15 yards from myself. 

And then biggidyBAP the gunz start firing.

I'm here with the wind flowing through my locks, and then BLAPBLAPBLAPPIDYBLAP. 

Yes, twas mas gunfire from these mariposas. The adreneline was surely covering my bullet wound pain, and I pushed on, tears astreamin'. Got home, had some cookies and I guess i just got grazed, cause the bleeding had stopped before I could find it. Really made me think.

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2:

Over leftsided hipster's right shoulder are, in true fact, my underpants. Made me realize that I am simply destined for delicious greatness. Also fame. Click pic for full scoop.

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3:

Frialatorial gastronomy. Deep fat flash of geniuspiration. More to come.