tko

Slipslap! You ever been in a fight? With me? No, you haven't. But do you want to? The other night a guy wanted to.

I was out on the street at the eatery whereat I work, fetching cabs for jerks, yea? So I snag a cab and tell the driver to go down the driveway to where the jerks are at, and all of a sudden I hear "Yoooo what the fuck!? That was our cab!!"

So I yells "Sorry, I'm just doing my job!"





Not end of story. I turns around and coming at me is this burly nerd-type feller with one heck of a grizzly beard. Uhoh.

Quoth the nerdling, all hopped-up on some righteousness, or the stuff that maketh man: "Oh yea? Does doing your job involve starting fights?!"

Trop clever, I thought, I sense some hostility. So I was all: "Uhh, I wasn't trying to start a fight with you, you nerd--nice corduroy blazer and--inernet-based cartoon-emblazoned--t-shirt ensemble." (italics, my inner jerkalogue)

Then, his 'probably impressed by such manliness' girlfriend comes roaring out of the background, screaming at me in spanglish, all sassy-like. At that point, I was nearing the end of a 14-hour shift, so I indulged this strangely-paired couple, instead of just, you know, squashing it.



"Honestly? Do you really think I want to be out here on the street hailing cabs for people? Really. Do you think that I am personally getting anything out of taking your cab?" (All sadish-angry-like.)

Then, of course, another cab pulled up, so I gave 'em the old 'right this way, your majesty' bow and hand-over-hand swirl. I walked away. In my ears were half-hearted nerd apologies, and the sound of large tears hitting the lapel of my tablecloth-materialed blazer.