beast river!

Yesterday I was at the job that I wish wasn't mine, and if you think I was bored, then you would be right. Well, I brought my newfangled digi-cam (what that I done got from sinter cloose,) so that I might have some photos for my upcoming Times article entitled "Extra! Extra! Why Asians Love to Have Their Wedding Photographs Taken at a Dirty Pier in Brooklyn: An Exposé, Report."


On any given day, Asians (Above, Above-right) can be observed taking weird wedding photographs. [James Irving/The New York Times]

So I'm clickin and clackin, oblivious to the call of my car parkage duties, when what should the karmatic sea gods bestow upon my supple face but a poorly-mixed cocktail of diluted sewage, industrial chemicals, and death. It came at me in a tremendous spray like that from a dying whale's blowhole--the East River, with its infinite power, had displayed for me its infinite grossness.


Actual photograph of actual spray that actually hit me in the face region of my body. [James Irving/Idiots]

Then, of course, I had to park a car, and then some line cook or something was in the crapper for-freakin-ever, so I had to walk around with eau de NYC's toilette all over my face for like 20 minutes.

To relieve the suspense, I finally washed my face and gave it a little spray with the bathroom's lemon-scented Lysol, for good measure. Then I got back to what I really wanted to do, which was take pictures of kitty.

Me-OW! Kitty looking frisky on the driveway.[James Irving/Cat Fancy]