joue de jour

When I am bored I play games with myself in my strange, strange mind.

For example, my sister Walker and I were once on a city bus, and a portly gentleman sitting near us was eating a large bag of Funyun-esk chips that are sold on the street in my neighborhood. So I says to me, "Self, I bet you one Chocotaco-brand ice cream treat that this man will finish his bag of ghetto funyuns before we leave this bus." I won't tell you what happened, but let's just say I won the bet.


Anyhows, this is just a preface to my yesterday at work, which was so boring that I was forced to create such gaming to pass the tiempo.


Game #1:

See how long you can go without speaking with, or being spoken to by your co-valet with whom you share a very small vestibule and driveway space. Not to be antisocial or a jerk (and not that I'm not,) but simply for the truly challenging challenge. This involved a lot of walking away from him, and pretending to answer my cellphone when it looked like he was fixin to gab.

And the winner waaas: me, I'd say. The challenge went to the one hour and 45 minute mark, at which point my coworker made some remark about the day being slow, and my expression could not have been more heartbrokenish.



Game #2:

So you pull up a car for some jerk and he gives you four shiny quarters as a tip, and then asks you for directions to Long Island. You give him directions, though not of the most accurate variety. Then! You shuffle over to the group of 15 Scottish touristas milling about the driveway, and drop the quarters in a surreptitiously cacophonous manner. And then you sit back and see what happens.

The results: One lady said something like "Lad, you've dropped your..." which trailed-off as another gentleman in the group quickly knelt down and swooped the quarters into his Scotty pockets, before speeding away to apparently get another look at the other side of the parking lot.



I guess the true result of this nonsense was a less-boring day, which included a variety of other games like "Death Stare Until they Notice!" and "Packed Driveway: See how many cars you can park in the time it takes your slow-ass coworker to park one! (Results: four)."


And this all reminds me of mom's old cheerer-upper that she most likely copped from her mom, "Only boring people get bored, but I ordered a 15-piece brass band that will be here in an hour to entertain you." The moral of the story being that you just have to entertain yourself sometimes, even/especially if you're an idiot.