fishin usa

Once upon a few weeks ago, Pete and I rustled up the fellers for to reassert our Ameri-manliness. And redundantly, to drink beer outside. But how might we truly git r dun in a place like Brooklyn, a frenchy metrosexual's eden? Friggin fishin, der.

So we rented some boats and other fishin fixins, and we were off to encounter god knew what.


Crusty Eric at the prow, living le dream.

We also wanted to bring home the fish bacon, so we made an earnest effort to catcha the fish. We knew this was sure to lead to manly adventuring, and then it did, as predicted. We braved the waves, the soggy sangwiches, and the green squid bits they give you for fish-coaxin. We were awesome.

But then we started catching all this creepy crap like skates and flounderish things, and our wills were tested further.

As the day's end was growing nigh, it began to sprinkle, and there suddenly came from the briny deep a tug upon my rented line. Then ensued a battle betwixt man and fishbeast for what seemed like minutes, and was, until finally I pulled this sucker out the ocean:


Uh, sea robin? Eww.

That thing was so spooky and scratchy-looking. At any goddamn rate, we were all a little queasy, and I was pretty drunk, and it was starting to actually rain, so we went home.

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girls just want to have fun, it's all they really want.

Well Dr. Martin, yesterday I discovered that the color of one's skin can, in fact, be substance enough for a fair judgement of their person, and especially so of their character's content.

It all started and ended when I went to the Hamptonians with my pal Dan, and his younger brother Michael, who is also my pal. As you may know: for many, a trip to the Hampsters is a symbol of status, which they should flaunt in conversation before and after the journey. For me, it is an opportunity to drink beer outside. This fact is key to the story.


Dan munching on seashells like a damned chikmuk.

Well, we made it to the beach all happy and gay, took a swim, ate some sangwiches; the usual beach routine. Of course, what should happen next involves me drinking beer and falling asleep on the beach. Oh, and when you drink beer, you are invincible to the sun's ruthless rays, so no sunscreen required! Or so my drunken self thought!



Anyways, my legs were lobster-red by the end of the day, and this made my bus and subway rides home simultaneously painful and embarrassing-- the latter because it is obvious to the lay passerby that I am an idiot. People pointed at my lobster legs. People whispered about my lobster legs. So I shuffled my lobster legs off the subway and took a cab.


Lobstorious.

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